I recently stated, rather flippantly, that I was not vaginaphobic. This set me to thinking. Taking a page from Freud, I proceded to develop a theory of human sexuality based on ME. How universal it really is remains to beseen.

There are gay men who are vaginaphobic -- that is, they fear and are repulsed by vaginas, or, by extension, women in a sexual context. There are straight men who are vaginaphillic. That is, the vagina is a sexual fetish for them, they require or strongly desire a vagina in their sex, and even fantasize about them when masturbating.

I have phallophillia -- I love penises, am aroused by them in general and appreciate them in context. Sex without a penis is lesser sex for me. The penis is a fetish. Fortunately, I have one of my own, and can usually arrange a handful (or two) even when flying solo. I have no fetish or phobia on vaginas.

I also have orophillia: I prefer to have things in my mouth -- penises, breasts, fingers, tongues -- during sex. Just about anyone can oblige that, huh?

A "true" bisexual (Kinsey 3) likely either has BOTH vaginaphillia AND phallophillia, or NEITHER.

This theory or model of sexuality explains why I have had sex with so many straight men. "Straight" is a socio-political construct, but sexual/erotic attractions follow rules of their own. Having vaginaphillia DOESN'T NECESSARILY mean having phallophobia (which is good, as most straight men have penises themselves).

This also explains women who identify as lesbians (vaginaphiles) yet still sleep with men on occassion, uncoerced. In fact, I know TWO lesbian couples that went through a huge change as one partner transitioned and is now male.

Now, the origins of phillias and phobias is a bit obscure, and these develop WAY early. But -- it *is* possible to alter old ones, and develop new ones. Is this true of these sexual fetishes I propose? Probably. But I think you can only ADD to them. So, if I'm phallophillic, and I got to a "conversion therapy" clinic, if they're good, they can instill vaginaphillia in me. Doesn't mean I don't still love Dick. In fact, NONE of this talks about who we fall in love with.

Vaginaphobic men are unlikely to be able to develop a healthy vaginaphillia without first working on the phobia. I suspect that if we all walked around naked all the time, it would be MUCH harder to develop a phobia about a body part. Or a Phillia, for that matter. The Bonobos don't seem to care.

2002