Dear friends...
How are you tonight? You're looking good. No, no, believe me, you look good to me. I don't offer compliments emptily, nor do I do so with ulterior motives, other than to inform you of my opinion. So don't argue.

Would you like some tea? Coffee? Something harder, perhaps? It's all there, take what you like. That's the sugar, there.

So I wanted to talk to you about some things.

Evidence has been mounting (though not mounting as quickly lately) that some of you have some ideas about me that are just not accurate. I take full responsibility for that, mind you. It takes two to communicate, one to create the message, one to listen. A failing in the communication can take place anywhere from the deliverer's mind to his words to the air between them to the listening to the brain of the recipient. Blame is not at issue.

However, as some of the misconceptions some of you (I am particularly concerned with the Rocky crowd, but not just them) may have do serious damage to the work I am on this planet to do, I would like to take this opportunity to address them:

I am not all about sex. Sex is not the be-all, end-all of my life. I am not only interested in events or people with sex potential. In fact, I've had VERY little sex in the past year, and it's not because I get turned down. I am simply fairly satisfied with what physical and emotional intimacy I am having with friends and loved ones, and have, for the most part, not sought more than has already happened. I am generally most interested in making connections with people, being social with them, having fun. A good hugger is more important to me than a good lay.

I *do* go on about sex a lot, I know -- it's one of the topics I hold as important and significant to my Life's Work. I wish to help ensure that all of humanity is informed and able to make their own decisions about sex, without being pressured by societal strictures.

I do NOT think less of people who are abstinant, monogamous, monosexual or vanilla. Nor of people who will not sleep with me. ;)

I *do* think it is important that people have the freedom to CHOOSE their path, to not arbitrarily discount some options without actually thinking about it. So sometimes I have engaged in Socratic quizing of people's mores, not to convert them, but to encourage them to think about how they are making their decisions. I can easily see how this can be misinterpreted, and I will endeavor to be clearer in the future.

I *do* think that direct communication is superior to indirect. We don't all work with the same code books, so encoding our message just increases the risk of misunderstanding. If you want to have sex with me, the best method is to ask. I do not feel obligated when someone asks, as I am fully capable of saying "no" -- and usually in doing so in a way that does not hurt the other's feelings. If I ask to take you to coffee, it does NOT mean anything one way or the other about whether I want to have sex with you.

Again, I often assume others are working on the same page, and I will endeavor to be clearer in the future.

I think that about covers it.

So why am I sharing this? It is not to make you wrong if you feel this way about me. It is not to make the burden fall on you to understand me if I'm being unclear. But I think it's an important datum for you to know what I intend. If my words or actions don't seem to jibe with what I have told you is my intent, perhaps consider there may be another interpretation possible, or ask me for clarification. It's also possible *I'm* forgetting myself, and fucking up, and I fully expect and hope my friends will tell me I'm fucking up just as much as I hope they mention that my fly is open.